Numbers.
1234567890.
That’s all?
“SO INSIGNIFICANT” I sniggered. "Just ten shapes and you had the whole mathematical world in your hand."
Or so I had thought when I was back in 1st grade.
***
*REWIND 13 years ago*
Alphabets were my new best friend in Grade 1. After the toys toddler school and nursery rhymes in pre-school,of course. They fit so well in my head you see. I could draw them big or small. APPLE or apple. Or even ApPlE.
So much fun these letters were! And I could keep all 26 of them and play all day and night. What joy, no? We were meant to be together. Reading became my favorite hobby and life seemed perfect to my 5 year old brain. I mean what more did I need? But little did I know that my nights of blissful sleep would be disturbed by the monsters under my bed. Monsters named ARITHMETIC.
***
See, every nerdy kid knows that at every major point in your life from pre-school and even through high school, you will have these three things for sure:
1) Your best friend / side kick
2) A teacher who adores you
3) An evil nemesis.
And MATH? It squished itself firmly in the third category. Ugh.
***
And so, like how most stories begin with the hero and villain beating each other up, similarly, our first face off came about in Ms.Leelamma’s class.
LOCATION: Class 2B, R.I.S,Ruwais,U.A.E
DATE AND TIME: 1st hour Math period , 09:15 A.M n/n/2001
“One of the greatest follies of man is to underestimate the opponent and overestimate your abilities.”
Ms.L : “ Students, write down numbers from 1 to 100 and bring it to me by the end of class”
I grinned at my bench mate. She winked back. What an easy peasy lemon squeezy task! Ha thu math!
My HB pencil tore away the white test sheets as I jotted down the first hundred numbers, chanting and panting along with my benchmate. We hopped through tens,skipped through twenties,skidded below thirtes,flirted with the forties, flew over the fifties, danced with the sixties, squeezed past the seventies, and swam towards the three digit HUNDRED
I would regret this moment for many years to come,but nothing can stop a wild untamed mind eager to achieve right? I got my hundred that day, but that day would be the first and most definitely the last. Anyway back to the story!
I proudly handed over my assignment to my teacher and waited with bated breath.
Ms.L took one glance and smiled.
I sighed in relief.
“Well done!” she said. “But you musn’t dawdle. And your chatty mouth won’t stay quiet. I don’t want you disturbing the other kids, however quick and smart you may be. So write from 100 to 200 and bring it back to me. Take as long as you want since it’s not been taught yet.”
Those warm eyes looked at me kindly without realizing that she had dropped me into the jaws of a frightful demon. I trudged back wearily to my desk and watched my bench mate sharpen her pencils and lay them in a neat row.
“Whatsay? Shall we try?” I asked.
She looked back wide-eyed and astonished.” Ofcourse! I ain’t letting some numbers eat up my recess time!”
She picked up one of her razor sharp pencils and started engraving her notebook with silver swirls of three digit numbers.
Following her cue, I grabbed my stationery and started scribbling away.
101.102.103.104.105....
“Hey, this seems pretty easy..” I muttered and continued scratching away at the paper.
It didn't occur to me that I was taking longer than usual and that my bench mate was already done because I was so absorbed in my work. But later that night, after I had replayed my embarrassing morning over and over again, it would strike me as odious.
“Tada! I’m done!” I ran up to my Math miss and gave her the sheet. She took one glance (again) and this time instead of her nice smile-
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” she erupted into peals of laughter that rang throughout the class and floated over every desk. The whole class had paused to look at the sudden display of mirth.
“How cute you are!” Miss says to me and wipes tears from her eyes. She gently points out the mistake :
100,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,1010,
1011, 1012...................................................1099,200.
I hung my head in shame. I thought the pattern would just continue. I, who hadn't learn the rules of addition and subtraction yet, was consumed by this awkward situation.
SCORE:
Math-1 Me-0
***
*Fast forward to Grade 7*
I did only half of 7th grade thanks to the circumstances during those days. But let’s focus on what’s important: CBSE
It was the first year I was being tested by this Board and rote learning seemed to be the hidden mantra. But say what you want, Math can never be stamped on with just memorizing all the questions and answers.
I stayed up the night before my final paper, sweating in a 25 degrees AC room, hyperventilating over geometry steps, confounded by the simple interest and befuddled with compound interest. Math was just flabbergasting!
>.<
I tore my hair and my notebooks and chewed on my nails as well as pen caps but all in vain.
The next day, the question paper was placed on my desk. It stared at me like an Angry Bird and knocked my brains out.
I blanked out completely.
I was reduced to a fat, green, exploding pig after all.
When the results came out, (I realize now) that it was a cheap prank that Math had played me with. My answer sheet had a big 69 in red encircled and signed by my Math teacher.
I mean, really Math?
O.o
SCORE:
Math –2 Me-0
***
*Loading 10th Standard*
*Sigh*
Centum.
That’s what every good,chammathu,Iyer ponnu should aim to achieve in Math in her board exams.
CENTUM.
And that’s exactly what this good,chammathu Iyer ponnu DID NOT get.
SCORE:
Math – 10 Me – 0
***
By now I was convinced that Math hated me and I LOATHED MATH to the point of puking when I heard the name.
Then I met Calculus.
***
#LoveStruck
Math used alphabets. Math had roped in x,y,z,u,v,w. It had conjured up differentiation and integration. It swept me up with its exponents and swung me around differential equations.
I was in love.
***
Well, don’t they say love is blind? Mera pehla pehla pyaar tha. And whatte love at first sight my childhood enemy had turned into!
Dominating, irresistible and absolutely stunning.
Everything felt so much lighter as I floated around in clouds patterned with old algebraic equations. I tattooed my arms with trigonometry degrees and danced to the arithmetic progression of salsa beats all night.
I drooled over theorems and fondled with linear systems. I dismissed sets and three dimensional geometry as the minor irritations in a newly blossomed relationship.
But will this fairy tale have a happy ending?
Or was it destined to end like Romeo and Juliet’s?
***
*11th Grade Semester Paper Distribution*
I was so lost in my love for math that I was rudely jolted back into reality. Math papers were being distributed and my batch had done miserably. Pathetic would be an understatement.
My answer sheet was slid across the table towards me and my classmates looked on with anticipation. I flipped the page over.
42/100
“You’re the third highest in the batch.” My sir grunted and walked away.
I stared for a moment or two and burst out laughing and crying at the same time. Could it get more ironic?
What an Ishaqazaade ending. I gripped my Math infatuation, dragged and shut it away in a locker. I had put a leash on Math and it would obey me now. Neither of us had won in this battle and there was many more to be fought. But for now, the scoreboard had been wiped clean:
SCORE:
Math – 0 Me – 0
***
*12th Grade BOARDS- The Final Battle*
My torrid love affair with Math had turned abusive by the time I reached the second Board exam of my life. It was love-hate and egos resurfaced so very easily. The relationship had crossed its rosy stage and I had to put in effort to sustain it and keep my wits about myself.
Math was also extremely high maintenance. As it turned out, unless I burned the night oil and scraped away at solutions for the various problems it threw at me, I would never be able to sleep in peace.
Sometimes I would feel like throwing it out the window and get rid of it once and for all but I constantly reminded myself that a for B.Tech degree, Math was a pre-requisite.
Towards the Boards we marched, unprepared but determined to cross the tall,sharp iron gates that CBSE had erected. On the other side, lay our happy college days, waiting to be enjoyed and transformed into memories tucked away in old photo albums.
All the sweat,blood and teeth grinding sessions for what? One last chance to prove my mathematical capabilities?
And the exams came.....and went. I had written one of the best Math papers and being the last exam, I was overjoyed to end my schooling on a high note.
The results came out...................................................................
And ?
Math : 83/100
The black numbers hurt my eyes against the glare of the white computer screen. I bit my lip and controlled the urge to scream.
All my teachers,friends,relatives and classmates called to ask one thing about the math scores:
CENTUM?
And that’s exactly what this good,chammathu Iyer ponnu DID NOT get.AGAIN.
***
Math laughed at me mockingly and settled into its iron chair comfortably. I was the one on the leash all this while unknowingly. The Battle had been fought and I had won a glorious defeat at the hands of the numbers. But instead of the sarcastic comment that I expected to be passed, I heard claps. Claps that echoed through my ears and gave my stomach butterflies.
It was a game well played, lost fair and square. My effort had mattered most to me and I had pushed with all what I had. I deserved a pat on my back and ended my long,unstable, toxic rivalry with Math. I embraced the subject like any other and wiped the slates clean , for the second time around. And for the last time ever.
SCORE:
Love all.
;)
EPILOGUE
May ’13
I stare at the Amrita portal loading slowly even with my fast internet connection. “How much longer?” dad asks getting irritated. Work is to be done and the household can’t really pause for the sake of my semester grade points. The website finally yields and my results for S4 pop up. I scan the grades for any C’s and D’s. Not finding any, I peruse my results carefully and stop at the Math grade.
B+
A wry smile lights up my face. It was my last Math paper in this course.
I thought back to the times I courted the Laplace transforms and drilled my way out of conformal mappings only to land up writing a dull last paper on iterations.
B+ was good enough I decide.
As I shut my laptop lid,I realized I had also closed a chapter named Math in my life.
SCORE:
Math-100 Me-101.
The End.